Tips to become more professionally effective in difficult conversations

We tend to avoid tough conversations at all costs. But by examining the feelings that they bring up, we can have more tools to handle them.

Excerpt: "Whether it’s about underperformance, conflict, a personal issue, or an unsuccessful job application, entering any difficult conversation triggers fear within ourselves and the person on the other end. Our brain’s flight or fight mechanism is triggered, with emotions taking the lead, and we frequently find ourselves in defensive mode looking for a win.

Whether it be after a keynote at a conference or in a workplace emotional intelligence program, I’m often approached by people who are struggling with difficult conversations. They’re gripped with frustration, fear, and exhaustion when they need to initiate a conversation and address an issue (or, on the other end, when they feel the repercussions of a poorly handled situation). 

While we’ve become more focused on emotional intelligence in recent years, we still have a long way to go when we initiate difficult conversations.

The language and emotional undertone of the words we use can exacerbate the emotions a person is feeling—or help them own it, process it, and move forward. Here’s how to have an emotionally intelligent response to the feelings that you may encounter when you begin a difficult conversation with another person, along with what to avoid."