Seeking more self-control?

The answer isn't will power

Excerpt: We tend to respect and even idolize those who exhibit a lot of willpower. The friend who hits up the gym five times a week. The social media influencer who maintains a meticulously decorated, camera-ready home. That colleague who manages to stay calm and focused in nearly every situation.

Research suggests that these people are not only viewed as trustworthy but also morally superior. How can we mere mortals compare? Polls show that many Americans are feeling heightened levels of anxiety and stress, which can make delaying gratification and inhibiting impulses even harder.

But willpower shouldn’t be confused with self-control.

While you can use willpower to manage your emotions or fight temptation, research suggests that it may not be the most effective method.

To improve willpower, it boils down to “just try harder,” said Kentaro Fujita, a professor of psychology at Ohio State University who studies self-regulation and decision making.

But self-control involves a set of skills that can be learned, he added.

Preparation, mind-set and the ability to either avoid or reframe temptation can be far more effective than trying to “force that desire down,” Dr. Fujita said."